I can't sing. As a singist I am not a success. I am saddest when I sing. So are those who hear me. They are sadder even than I am.

Imagine for a moment Napoleon I, to have borne the name of Jenkins, or Washington to have sustained the appellation of John Smith!

The Puritans nobly fled from a land of despotism to a land of freedim, where they could not only enjoy their own religion, but could prevent everybody else from enjoyin his.

It is true, that all married men have their own way, but the trouble is they don't all have their own way of having it.

The prevailin' weakness of most public men is to Slop Over!.... G. Washington never slopt over.

I can't sing. As a singist I am not a success. I am saddest when I sing. So are those who hear me. They are sadder even than I am.

I prefer temperance hotels - although they sell worse kinds of liquor than any other kind of hotels.