An empty cab drove up and Sarah Bernhardt got out.

If you demand money from someone in exchange for your silence, it's called 'blackmail'. If your lawyer demands money from someone in exchange for your silence, it's called a settlement. If you do big things they print your face, and if you do little things they print only your thumbs.

It was as helpful as throwing a drowning man both ends of the rope.

Liquor - you can make it illegal but you can't make it unpopular.

A good neighbor is a fellow who smiles at you over the back fence, but doesn't climb over it.

A plumber is an adventurer who traces leaky pipes to their source.

A newspaper is a circulating library with high blood pressure.