I find it hilarious that there are academics who try to analyse chemical changes in the brains of students while exposing them to gags.

It's worth turning up to an awards gig if you know you've won one but, since you never do know, it's not worth it.

My eyebrows could do with a trim.

I couldn't really see the point of having lunch unless it started at 1:00 and ended a week later in Monte Carlo.

The outfits come and go but there is a constant that I like about the catwalk model: the snotty expression.

Ninety-eight per cent of laughter is nothing to do with jokes, which do not deserve to bear the weight of all the funny stuff in the world.

Every generation of children has its private hero.