My eyebrows could do with a trim.

An uninspiring canvas becomes a glamorous masterpiece when it is reattributed to a better-known artist.

I'm an armchair kind of guy, especially when it's raining, which it always is and always will be.

It's worth turning up to an awards gig if you know you've won one but, since you never do know, it's not worth it.

If you want to be happy for a short time, get drunk happy for a long time, fall in love; happy forever, take up gardening.

Acting is the most demanding, painful job in the world.

Reading the play at home, however fulfilling, can never be the vivacious experience that Shakespeare intended.