My eyebrows could do with a trim.

The outfits come and go but there is a constant that I like about the catwalk model: the snotty expression.

Reading the play at home, however fulfilling, can never be the vivacious experience that Shakespeare intended.

I'm an armchair kind of guy, especially when it's raining, which it always is and always will be.

The history of the relationship between comedy and swimming is short indeed. Of course it is always funny when someone falls into water, but that's about it.

Global warming, the ongoing destruction of the planet, Third World debt, the uselessness of the railways, the takeover by the corporations, the scary George Bush person: all these things are important and should be animating me into outrage. Yet somehow they do not.

The best way to prepare for a night out with a Shakespearean tragedy is to do a bit of reading up in the afternoon, eat a light supper - perhaps Welsh rarebit - and then arrive early to do some stretching exercises in the foyer before curtain-up.