My success lies in having achieved a record numbers of failures.

With all deference to Chairman Mao and other authors whose quotations derive from longer works, it seemed that I was becoming the world's first writer of self-contained ready-made quotations.

My life is a performance for which I was never given any chance to rehearse.

Our meetings are held to discuss many problems which would never arise if we held fewer meetings.

Inform all the troops that communications have completely broken down.

I have many unrecognized talents, but my faults have somehow succeeded in securing wide recognition.

Love is a strange commodity, because you can't import it if you don't also export it.