Why aren't you more grateful when I prove how wrong you've been?
Strange as it may seem, my life is based on a true story
Life is too important to be taken as a joke, but too ridiculous to be taken seriously.
What happened to you could have been worse - it could have happened to me.
Speak nothing but the truth, and you'll soon be considered dangerous.
To always hit the target, throw a dart, then call whatever you hit the target.