I want it clearly understood that I'm totally confused.

If you must keep groaning, please try to do it in a rhythm I can dance to.

You can't stop progress, but you can help decide what is progress and what isn't.

How can there ever possibly be a conflict between my private interests and the public good?

With all deference to Chairman Mao and other authors whose quotations derive from longer works, it seemed that I was becoming the world's first writer of self-contained ready-made quotations.

I'll give up my bad habits as soon as equally satisfying good habits become available.

The funniest thing about some people is that they have no sense of humor.