This is one of my favorite pick up strategies: I'm constantly giving women my keys. So far, none of them have shown up. Matter of time. And I've been robbed twice.

I'm in a situation with this girl that's as hopeless as overthrowing the Bush administration.

Do It Under the Influence Yourself! That's what we're shooting for! Get drunk and make your dreams come true.

When I bet on horses, I never lose. Why? I bet on all the horses.

I spend so much time on the Internet...I feel like I'm a million pages into the worst book ever, and I'm never going to stop reading.

You want what you can't have. And if someone's being shitty to you, just move on. If someone's being shitty to you, no matter how great they are, that's shitty, and you don't want be with someone who treats you shitty.

Regardless of your ethnicity or anything, if you do great work, people will notice and you'll get hired.