One of my life goals is to be a best man. It's a baller position. You get drunk, you make speeches, and you make love to the prettiest bridesmaid, usually standing from behind.

If someone writes something shitty and you actually address them, most of the time they're just like, "Oh, I'm sorry. I'm a big fan." And they're really nice people. When you're on the Internet, it's people's first instinct to just go after people.

She broke up with me. Didn't really tell me why. Luckily when you're the guy, you can just tell people she's crazy. 'Hey, Tom, I heard you and Lucy broke up.' 'Yeah, man. Turns out, she's crazy.' That's what they always do on Entourage.

I write characters that are based on elements of people I know and experiences I've really had.

So many gay jokes tonight about (James) Franco. Apparently if you're clean, well dressed and mildly cultured, you're super gay now. Is that why the rest of you guys are so aggressively fat and dirty? You think if you read one book and take a shower, dicks are going to just fly into your face.

One of my life goals is to be a best man. It's a baller position. You get drunk, you make speeches, and you make love to the prettiest bridesmaid, usually standing from behind.

I know my fan base is a smart group of people.