One of my life goals is to be a best man. It's a baller position. You get drunk, you make speeches, and you make love to the prettiest bridesmaid, usually standing from behind.

Everyone's first thought is "These women are going to take advantage of you" or "Someone's only going to date you because you're famous." That stuff's not really an issue because that's super-easy to see through.

I just think it's sad that the main places in our culture that we designate to meet new people are bars and nightclubs.

I'm in a situation with this girl that's as hopeless as overthrowing the Bush administration.

She broke up with me. Didn't really tell me why. Luckily when you're the guy, you can just tell people she's crazy. 'Hey, Tom, I heard you and Lucy broke up.' 'Yeah, man. Turns out, she's crazy.' That's what they always do on Entourage.

Everyone just did what their parents did. So that immediately made me skeptical of the whole religion thing, even as a kid. So I never was really into religion as a concept.

Come on, man, I got a full beard!