I know my fan base is a smart group of people.

If your job was remotely interesting, there would be a show on A&E about it.

My dad grew up basically in a hut in Taiwan without enough food to eat. And within one generation his son in America gets to do a comedy show about whatever he wants.

What if I couldn't read? I wouldn't be able to text my friends movie times or even order cheese biscuits from Red Lobster!

In this era, we have more choice than any group of people ever. When you are out at night, anyone in the universe can contact you instantly. Think about how crazy that is compared to even a few decades ago.

The hardest part about rollerblading is telling your parents you're gay.

When I bet on horses, I never lose. Why? I bet on all the horses.