So many gay jokes tonight about (James) Franco. Apparently if you're clean, well dressed and mildly cultured, you're super gay now. Is that why the rest of you guys are so aggressively fat and dirty? You think if you read one book and take a shower, dicks are going to just fly into your face.

I was surprised to learn that research showed arranged couples tended to be happier in the long run.

Most of my teachers when I grew up were like older white women. So, I couldn't really channel them.

We've always been divided by some of these big political issues. It's fine. As long as we treat each other with respect and remember that ultimately, we're all Americans, we'll be fine.

If someone writes something shitty and you actually address them, most of the time they're just like, "Oh, I'm sorry. I'm a big fan." And they're really nice people. When you're on the Internet, it's people's first instinct to just go after people.

You’re a feminist if you go to a Jay Z and Beyoncé concert, and you’re not like, ‘Mmm, I feel like Beyoncé should get 23 percent less money than Jay Z'.

Modern life. Where are we running? Sometimes what we want is not always where we are... Are we alone? Is the real winter inside our hearts? We are all struggling for definition in a world that resists our increase.