It can take a few months to get a new 10 minutes. Usually it takes like 10 times of repeatedly trying different variations of a joke until I land on one I think is really good.

Come cook food with me and do nothing.

What if I couldn't read? I wouldn't be able to text my friends movie times or even order cheese biscuits from Red Lobster!

I was a dishwasher at one of those Japanese places that cook on your table. Not too fun.

Maybe that's why I don't like religion because the first introduction to it was, you don't get to do that thing you just discovered that you really enjoy.

I have found that she is as kind and caring a person as she is hilarious. Simply put, Amy Poehler is my hero.

The hardest part about rollerblading is telling your parents you're gay.