Nobody remembers how long anything takes; they only remember how good it was in the end.

I wanted to be a writer first, and I struck out in the world to be a writer first, and then found stand-up as a more creative outlet, as a 3D way to be creative.

Perfect. Why was this so hard to find?”The other type of perfect is the type you never could have expected and then could never replicate.

Regret is just perfectionism plus time.

There's always going to be one more thing. Because that's what infinite feels like. And the difference between love and everything else is that it's infinite, it's built out of something infinite, or it feels like it is, anyway, which is the same thing to us. You think a million billion more things will come your way, a million billion more versions of everything. But no, everything that actually causes that infinite feeling, the circumstances of every infinite feeling, is so, so finite.

I do not have very much office experience.

Travel is impossible, but daydreaming about travel is easy.