I don't really believe in pretending to be happy when you're not. Mostly I believe that you should burden your friends with your problems.

And sometimes when you're very mixed-up inside, you do things you know you shouldn't do.

The upside to grief is it takes away your appetite. When people say you look good they really mean it. Nature's thoughtful that way.

Can't we be friends?' I hate your guts, Frankovitch' Can't our guts be friends?

I'm not actually sure I'm grown-up enough for grown-up books.

My senior year of high school, I was voted Wittiest. So, several years later, I decided to try my hand at writing humor to see if I could be witty enough to make some money.

I don't really believe in pretending to be happy when you're not. Mostly I believe that you should burden your friends with your problems.