I'm so lazy as far as liking to get up, go to the office in my pajamas, get dressed about noon. And I hate flying. So I have this really laid-back, good lifestyle, and it's hard to nudge me out of it.

Junie B. Jones. The B stands for Beatrice. Except, I don't like Beatrice. I just like B and that's all.

Moving makes you feel all alone inside.

My senior year of high school, I was voted Wittiest. So, several years later, I decided to try my hand at writing humor to see if I could be witty enough to make some money.

I don't really believe in pretending to be happy when you're not. Mostly I believe that you should burden your friends with your problems.

Society just has a way of inhibiting you, which is good and bad.

I'm so lazy as far as liking to get up, go to the office in my pajamas, get dressed about noon. And I hate flying. So I have this really laid-back, good lifestyle, and it's hard to nudge me out of it.