The motto of West African cooking is that if the food doesn't set fire to the tablecloth the cook is being stingy with the pepper.

He was calling it an atonic seizure because, even if he didn't know why it had happened, it was important to give it a cool name.

Despite my mum being from a small village in the middle of a forest, I'm not a country person. I don't like my bacon sandwich to be curiously snuffling at my fingers. But sometimes being police means holding your breath and fondling a pig.

On the plus side, there were no rioters in sight but on the minus side this was probably because everywhere I looked was on fire.

...good-Samaritanism in London is considered an extreme sport - like base-jumping or crocodile-wrestling.

This I know for a fact: the reason African women have children is so that there's someone else to do the housework.

You know, your species [humans] has the most amazing capacity for self-deception, matched only by its ingenuity in trying to destroy itself.