My Dad says that being a Londoner has nothing to do with where you're born. He says that there are people who get off a jumbo jet at Heathrow, go through immigration waving any kind of passport, hop on the tube and by the time the train's pulled into Piccadilly Circus they've become a Londoner.

My dad was a fairy," said Zach. "And by that I don't mean he dressed well and enjoyed musical theatre.

The general public have a warped view of the speed at which an investigation proceeds. They like to imagine tense conversations going on behind the venetian blinds and unshaven, but ruggedly handsome, detectives working themselves with single-minded devotion into the bottle and marital breakdown. The truth is that at the end of the day, unless you've generated some sort of lead, you go home and get on with the important things in life - like drinking and sleeping, and if you're lucky, a relationship with the gender and sexual orientation of your choice.

...good-Samaritanism in London is considered an extreme sport - like base-jumping or crocodile-wrestling.

That which does not kill us has to get up extra early in the morning if it wants to get us next time.

He was calling it an atonic seizure because, even if he didn't know why it had happened, it was important to give it a cool name.

For a terrifying moment I thought he was going to hug me, but fortunately we both remembered we were English just in time. Still, it was a close call.