I may not have been wearing a mink coat, but I was traveling with a dog. That should have made you think I was an actress!

You should never say bad things about the dead, you should only say good . . . Joan Crawford is dead. Good.

The male ego with few exceptions is elephantine to start with.

Among the reasons marriages fail, sex ranks no higher than fourth, behind money, having only one bathroom, and an inability to communicate, reasons one, two and three.

Some young Hollywood starlets remind me of my grandmother's old farmhouse -- all painted up nice on the front side, a big swing on the backside, and nothing whatsoever in the attic.

I'm the nicest goddamn dame that ever lived.

Playing our parts. Yes, we all have to do that and from childhood on, I have found that my own character has been much harder to play worthily and far harder at times to comprehend than any of the roles I have portrayed.