If this goes into sweatshop labor, I'm quitting this podcast.

I'm always looking at new ways to tell a joke so that it doesn't get stale while working on new jokes every night or I would go absolutely crazy and would want to kill myself. I just want to go in there and talk about what's bugging me.

[Nazi] copied stuff from us for their "final solution" but we get to walk around like we're the good guys.

When I watch 'Breaking Bad,' my stomach is in knots.

People should be happy to see you when you show up to a club because you're a good person. And stop caring about what the industry is "looking for". Just say what you think is funny. .

As a big music fan, England is an amazing place to go.

The first guy who got Aids was a French flight attendant. How you like that Frenchie! You know when I come back and run for office, that may be the one that comes back and haunts me.