I'm not going to lie. I am a psycho. Luckily, I get most of it out on stage.

If I can sell out clubs and theaters and play dirtbags in movies, and get blown up in a car or get the crap beat out of me in a movie, that's good for me; I'm good.

I was certified to take x-rays, but you can't just show up and start cleaning people's teeth.

You have to understand how bad I wanted to be a comedian, how much I loved doing it. I still can't believe I get to do this for a living and have people come up and want to see me.

When I was coming up the DC Improv was considered the best Improv out there. It's always been high quality stuff coming out of there.

I am so pro-swine flu it's - it's like ridiculous.

I have this weird sort of Gemini thing where I can really be empathetic and a loving person. But if you piss me off, I can be one of the meanest, most sadistic people.