It was right after 9/11 and I decided to walk around the grounds of the Pentagon, because I had never been there. Out of nowhere comes this speeding camouflaged golf cart and this guy starts yelling at me, 'What do you think you're doing!' The guy wrote my name down and began to follow me before I got really scared and took off as fast as I could.

I'm an idiot, basically. I don't think that I'm a dumb guy, but I also realise that I have access to about 0.1 percent of the information that I need to have a truly informed opinion about half the stuff I talk about. I'm like that loud guy in the bar, who kind of makes sense for about ten minutes, and then you realise he flunked everything at high school so you just laugh at him.

You wanna know how you know you're informed as a protestor? They don't show your interview on TV.

If you're away from your house for a month, by the time you come back there's someone else living in it.

If you get a chance to go outside of the country, you start examining where you're from and some of the thought processes. Like when I finally got away from the east coast for a while, and I came back there was just this underlying anger that I never noticed before, because I was born there and just dropped right into it.

I have to make small adjustments, but I can't change too much. If I'm worrying about that stuff too much then the show isn't as funny.

I do my podcast on Mondays for a specific reason. A lot of people go to work and don't like their jobs. If you give people something to laugh about, it's good.