I am so pro-swine flu it's - it's like ridiculous.

Only an adult with dying dreams can appreciate how awesome it is to have a dog.

Don't be a jerk to other comics and don't let the business beat you down, stay positive and if you work your ass off you're going to get somewhere.

Acting in a sitcom or a comedy movie is like a comedy routine with the setups.

I can tell you why I like different countries. Ireland - some of the funniest heckles I've ever gotten. And the last time I did England I did Bristol, Manchester, and then London. The whole country is just amazing to drive through.

I wasn't the good looking guy, I wasn't the hot chick, I wasn't the fat guy, I didn't have a catchphrase, I didn't wear a silly hat. I was just trying to improve as a comedian.

I've had a great time on the road, I would say shooting guns with a silencer in Jacksonville, Fla.