God's everywhere, but I gotta go down (to church) to see him? Really? And he's mad at me down there, and I owe you money?
Bill BurrThe only time I get sick of making people laugh is when I'm in a non-writing-joke mode, and I just can't seem to come up with anything new that's funny. That's a tough place to be as a comedian.
Bill BurrIt was right after 9/11 and I decided to walk around the grounds of the Pentagon, because I had never been there. Out of nowhere comes this speeding camouflaged golf cart and this guy starts yelling at me, 'What do you think you're doing!' The guy wrote my name down and began to follow me before I got really scared and took off as fast as I could.
Bill BurrI was certified to take x-rays, but you can't just show up and start cleaning people's teeth.
Bill Burr