I cannot believe that [Donald Trump] is actually in the debates.

D.C.'s always had a great scene.

When I watch 'Breaking Bad,' my stomach is in knots.

I bet The Walking Dead gets really low ratings out in Montana, just because all they need to do is look out their f-king window, am I right?

I'm a standup comedian who gets to act. I'm never going to not do standup. I love doing it and when I go through periods where I'm doing a lot of acting work, I still do standup.

I've been bumped, I've had to go up after them, I've had stuff thrown at me, I've been booed. I've had people steal from me and lie to me.

I love my dog. I hate bankers. I have issues with women. In my head, I’m a great guy.