I gotta be honest with you. Im kind of jealous of the way my dad gets to talk to my mom sometimes. Where are all those old-school women you can just take your day out on? When did they stop making those angels?

I love my dog. I hate bankers. I have issues with women. In my head, I’m a great guy.

You know, it wasn't even that I'm a funny guy, I just loved stand-up comedy and I wanted to do it. It was one of the few things in my life that I knew I was going to be able to do, and I also felt as though I'd be able to do it the way I wanted to do it.

D.C.'s always had a great scene.

I do enjoy them. I get to meet the next generation of comics and help them out. Big comics doing small shows was something that used to happen a lot more back in the day. I wish there was more of that.

I loved the [English] countryside. I went to John Bonham's grave.

I've never wanted to kill myself over anything major. It's always the little things that do me in.