I actually had the urge to elbow an elderly lady today.

If I can sell out clubs and theaters and play dirtbags in movies, and get blown up in a car or get the crap beat out of me in a movie, that's good for me; I'm good.

D.C.'s always had a great scene.

Against these two [Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton] I would [vote], but I never voted for [Barack Obama]. I always voted third party - the ones who say their gonna jail the bankers.

Once you do a joke and it works it's only good for so long, like shooting fish in a barrel.

I'm not going to lie. I am a psycho. Luckily, I get most of it out on stage.

I still remember the first gig where I got people going, it was Rascals in New Jersey, and the place was packed. I was scared. People were expecting me to be funny. I gotta be honest, every time I walk into a club, it's that same fear.