I was certified to take x-rays, but you can't just show up and start cleaning people's teeth.

Being a comedian is an incredible thing, but it can be scary sometimes.

My parents have a ridiculous work ethic; my dad just works, works, works, works, works. I think it would be hard to find a guy who's logged more hours than that guy.

D.C.'s always had a great scene.

I was in NYC during 9/11; it happened on a Tuesday, I was on stage Thursday. It was a small crowd, but it took about 10 days and comedy clubs were packed.

I'm one of those guys where you know, I'm 23 years into this and I love the road more than ever and rather than whittling down my schedule to just play the major cities, I've actually expanded the amount of places that I go to because I want to see a bunch of stuff. You know, plan it as I can while I'm still young enough to travel.

[I'm] more German than Irish.