Pitbulls are like a gun you can pet.

The first guy who got Aids was a French flight attendant. How you like that Frenchie! You know when I come back and run for office, that may be the one that comes back and haunts me.

I cannot believe that [Donald Trump] is actually in the debates.

I've never wanted to kill myself over anything major. It's always the little things that do me in.

Ric Flair was so big I heard about him. I've read his autobiography and all that. He's huge.

You know what a cubicle basically says? It basically says, like, 'You know what? We don't think you're smart enough for an office, but we don't want you to look at anybody.

Well probably the coolest show of that whole tour was in Germany. I had a chunk of material on [Adolf] Hitler, and I was worried about how they'd react, but they loved it.