We parents ask dumb questions, therefore we get dumb answers.

In Genesis, it is stated God walked on Earth. He was there on the level. After watching human behavior, he ascended having had enough of us and decided to watch over us instead.

Man can not live by bread alone ... he must have peanut butter.

And to those people with no children but who think they'd like to have them some day to fulfill their lives. Remember: With fulfillment comes responsibility.

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.

But if that's what you want to be, that's what you will be - as long as you study.

Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.