We parents ask dumb questions, therefore we get dumb answers.

Racial humor was about 35% of my act when I first started. But I realized that it was a crutch. What brought it home was when another comedian said to me, 'If you changed color tomorrow, you wouldn't have any material.' He meant it as a put-down, but I took it as a challenge.

And of course, when you see your brother in the toilet bowl...there's a little voice that say, 'I wonder where he would go...'...if it hadn't been for his head.

When I was a boy if a girl got pregnant the shame was placed on her and the boy could get away.

I once asked my father for a dollar for the school picnic. He told me how he once killed a grizzly bear with his loose-leaf notebook.

When you carry a gun, you mean to harm somebody, kill somebody.

You can never give complete authority and overall power to anyone until trust can be proven.