When you carry a gun, you mean to harm somebody, kill somebody.

Gray hair is God's graffiti.

Anyone can dabble, but once you've made that commitment, your blood has that particular thing in it, and it's very hard for people to stop you.

A new father quickly learns that his child invariably comes to the bathroom at precisely the times when he's in there, as if he needed company. The only way for this father to be certain of bathroom privacy is to shave at the gas station.

Pay off your student loan. Even if you don't have a job...Because when you finally get a job you're going to be one of us.

Parents are people who yell and they yell and they yell and they yell. And you already have the point... and they're still yelling.

Some authority on parenting once said, "Hold them very close and then let them go." This is the hardest truth for a father to learn: that his children are continuously growing up and moving away from him (until, of course, they move back in).