The heart of marriage is memories.

The first-born in every family is always dreaming for an imaginary older brother or sister who will look out for them.

'Don't worry about senility', my grandfather used to say.

As I have discovered by examining my past, I started out as a child. Coincidentally, so did my brother. My mother did not put all her eggs in one basket, so to speak: she gave me a younger brother named Russell, who taught me what was meant by 'survival of the fittest.'

If you took your child to the dentist and check for cavities, the child likely won't get them. If you take them just for emergency, that's all they're gonna get.

If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right.

And so the dentist says 'Rinse.' So you lean over, and you're lookin' at this miniature toilet bowl.