I didn't know how serious it is to a female that you lift the lid.

While fathers are pleasant figureheads, there is a special bond between children and their mothers. 'Do you help your mother clean up the house?' I asked one girl of seven. 'No,' she sweetly replied, 'I help make the mess.' It's a dirty job but somebody's got to do it.

I am certainly not an authority on love because there are no authorities on love, just those who've had luck with it and those who haven't.

All men should freely use those seven words which have the power to make any marriage run smoothly: You know dear, you may be right

Have you ever had a cookie? Then you won't get any here either.

Some authority on parenting once said, "Hold them very close and then let them go." This is the hardest truth for a father to learn: that his children are continuously growing up and moving away from him (until, of course, they move back in).

The weatherman is always right. It's just his timing that's off.