You can't climb a tile wall.

Ladies, you wake up tomorrow and the newspaper reads Scientists have discovered a way for men to experience childbirth. That would be awesome.

Ketchup is great on hamburgers, but if some gets on your shirt, that does not make your shirt also a hamburger.

I believe that anyone who wants to wear a thong should have to go through an application process.

Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into one of those side-of-the-road gas stations. The attendant walks out, looks at my truck, looks at me, and I swear he said, Tire go flat? I couldn't resist. Said, Nope. I was driving around and those other three just swelled right up on me. Here's your sign.

Ma'am, when I got up this morning, I didn't want to be jackass. You just pushed my jackass button.

That's why they're man's best friend. 'Cause guys want buddies that are dumber than they are. So do women, but they've already got men