Talk to women who've ever dated an Arab man. The results are not good.

I don't think George Bush is a good president by any imagination, but when he said, 'If you're talking to Al-Quaeda, we want to know what it's about,' it just proves one thing: If you're president long enough, you will one day say something that is true.

Obama has had more fundraisers than the last six presidents combined. And he's still losing in the money race!

Gordon Gekko was right: greed is good. Because, the potty-trained Republicans have now stepped forward - like the Koch brothers - to say, 'You know what? You yokels stop talking about defaulting on the debt, because I'm going to lose a fortune!'

Suicide is man's way of telling God, 'You can't fire me - I quit.'

The president had a press conference about this this week and he said that the U.S. has no plans to attack North Korea. And then he added, 'Like having no plan ever stopped me before.'. He has something even more deadly in store for them - we're going to bring them democracy.

The jury could get the case as early as next week, but the defense says they just want to introduce one last-minute load of crap.