If I thought the Lord was speaking to me I'd check myself into Bellevue, and I think you should too.

In New York now, they have Harvey Milk High School for gay students. They don't have much of a football team, but the half-time show . . .

I urge the media to start referring to climate skeptics as what they really are: climate assholes.

It's that time of year again, April 15, taxes. I know it's depressing, but just remember, you're paying for roads, bridges, hospitals, and an army to keep the nation free. Unfortunately that nation is Afghanistan.

BP today finally managed to almost completely stop the flow of information.

People sometimes say how standup is so hard, and I always tell them that it's hard at the beginning.

If you're living hand-to-mouth, and still buying into the con that the big threats to America are socialized medicine, Mexican immigrants and tax increases, then you're not being kept down by the rich. You're being kept down by you.