I see they found out the universe is 80 million years older than we thought. It's also been lying about its weight.

The teachers don't know anything. What are the kids going to learn with a horrible education system?

It's very hard not to be condescending when you're explaining something to an idiot.

I find it ironic that Republicans have such disdain for the lazy, and yet their solution to every problem is do nothing. Their answer to wealth inequality, do nothing. Health care? Do nothing. Climate change? Nothing. Racism? Doesn’t exist. For a group of people so head over heels in love with self-reliance, they sure do recommend a lot of sitting on their ass.

That's what American democracy has come down to at these town hall meetings: old people and gun nuts, which is a terrible combination. I heard somebody yell 'AK-47!' and a lady yelled, 'Bingo!'

Kids. They're not easy, but there has to be some penalty for having sex.

This party is just full of children, and someone needs to leave them in a hot car.