I'm just honest. They [asians] don't want to see black people generally in their movies.

Republicans look to find the future and they find radio.

New Rule: All Fox News employees must now refer to President Bush as "my liege". If they are going to treat President Bush like he's an infallible king, they need to start addressing him as if he was an infallible king. And they can do this by addressing him as "my liege".

Emergency rooms will be used the way they were intended to be used: not for primary care, but for when the average freaky American get some strange object up his ass.

I can't stay mad at Pope Frank. I just can't. It's a funny situation that I like the pope and Mel Gibson doesn't.

Attorney General John Ashcroft is in intensive care. He's suffering from a severe case of pancreatitis, which they can't really figure out because he's not really a drinker. They think he might have picked up some type of infection while wiping his ass with the Bill of Rights.

Remember, guns don't kill people - unless you practice real hard.