A new cologne is coming out. It's for cowboys, and it's made from cow's manure. That way the women will be on you like flies!

The only sport I really get into is snowboarding. Cause that's the only sport where they perform a half pipe just after smoking a full pipe.

I have two dogs. If I had retarded children, I'd be a hero. And yet, the dogs are pretty much the same thing.

Sarah Palin's whole family got into a drunken public fistfight. Something police are calling a 'tragic case of trash-on-trash violence.'

Why are the patriots the ones who don't want to spend money on trains?

The Republicans proved they are not the party of 'no.' They're the party of 'f**k, no!'

Sarah Palin should not be on vacation. She should be in summer school.