If Jesus was a Jew, why did he have a Spanish name?

Tiger Woods apologized to the three women in America he never got around to sleeping with.

My wife always has a splitting archetype whenever I want to have sex.

If it weren't for acid, you might not have an IPod, and you definitely would not have some of the best music in your IPod.

You want to spend your millions on a worthless cause? Try donating it to the Democrats.

The Democrats are very bad at selling their own product. The Republicans are geniuses at it. And I've said it before, a bad product well apologized for is superior in this country to a good product.

I'm staying in a strange hotel. I called room service for a sandwich and they sent up two hookers.