The First Amendment was specifically designed for citizens to insult politicians. Libel laws were written to protect law students speaking out on political issues from getting called whores by Oxycontin addicts.

The difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull: At some point, a pit bull does stop whining.

When you want to make it clear to the rest of the world that you are not an imperialist, the best countries to have with you are Britain and Spain.

There was one awkward moment where a black man stood-up to ask a question and out of habit, Bush said 'Clemency denied.'

My wife always has a splitting archetype whenever I want to have sex.

There are people who think everything is a conspiracy and I think they're crazy.

This is the worst thing to happen to beaches since the Speedo.