In today's Republican Party, there's a term for people who hate charity and love killing: 'Christian.'

George Bush says, 'Gore's book needs a lot of explaining.' Of course, Bush says that about every book.

I think that religion stops people from thinking. I think it justifies crazies. I think flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative. I think religion is a neurological disorder. If you look at it logically, it's something that was drilled into your head when you were a small child. It certainly was drilled into mine at that age. And you really can't be responsible when you are a kid for what adults put into your head.

To give you an idea how slowly we are leaving Afghanistan, Afghans don't refer to us anymore as 'infidel crusaders.' They refer to us as 'Irish relatives.'

If the NRA keeps messing with the President's daughters, they're going to have to start worrying about Michelle Obama's guns.

No politician is perfect. But in every election in your life, there will be one choice that is better than the others. Go out and vote for that one.

Stupidity is not another form of knowledge.