To give you an idea how slowly we are leaving Afghanistan, Afghans don't refer to us anymore as 'infidel crusaders.' They refer to us as 'Irish relatives.'

How can the Republicans get away with picking their Dennis Kucinich, but when - if the Democrats tried it, all hell would break lose?

I never thought I'd say this, what Obama needs in his personality is a little George Bush.

I always say to my religious friends, if a pool had even one turd in it, would you jump in?

Ninety percent of people support background checks. Which means even people who can't pass a background check support background checks.

Yes, in baseball when the team stinks, you fire the manager. But you don't fire him because it rains. And you don't let the opposing team choose a new manager for you. And you don't fire him between innings. And replace him with a Viennese weightlifter.

Stupidity is not another form of knowledge.