Every asshole who ever chanted 'Drill baby drill' should have to report to the Gulf coast today for cleanup duty.

I hear a lot of talk today about xenophobia. Is it really phobia if you have something to be afraid of?

Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don't need.

I have such disdain for anybody who gets joy out of blowing the stuffing out of a little woodland creature, that I don't really care if any of them gets shot.

If anti-gay stuff is always coming out of your mouth, something very gay is probably going in.

White people have always shown their superiority over blacks with their feet, moving out of black neighborhoods with the fear that their kids will turn into one of them. And now, through the magic of MTV, damned if it didn't turn out that way!

Rush Limbaugh, who has made a career preaching that anybody who does drugs has got to go right to jail - do not pass go, no questions asked, right to jail - gets caught doing thirty oxycontin a day. Thirty oxycontin?! Do you have any idea how high that is?! I don't, and I've been pretty high!