I would describe my spirituality as exactly the opposite of having a religious affiliation.

We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities.

The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.

I kid the Republicans, with love. I feel bad for them. They got nobody for next time. Who are they gonna run? Sarah Palin, reading off her hand. Did you see that? You saw this? She wrote "tax cuts" on her hand. A Republican so stupid she has to be reminded of the one thing - Tax cuts! This is like if you saw the coyote's paw and it said "Road Runner".

Don't wear bacon cologne. If you put on...you know what? Screw it. Wear it. If you are the type of guy who is tempted to wear bacon cologne, it's not like you could get laid any less.

Ninety percent of people support background checks. Which means even people who can't pass a background check support background checks.

Eric Holder, our attorney general, says the Mr. Snowden will be brought to justice. Just as soon as we can find someone who can track his calls and read his emails.