I would describe my spirituality as exactly the opposite of having a religious affiliation.

Suicide is man's way of telling God, 'You can't fire me - I quit.'

Russia has banned all adoptions to Americans. So, if you were hoping to get a little white kid with fetal alcohol syndrome, you're going to have to wait until Lindsay Lohan reproduces.

A flu shot just compromises your immune system.

The true axis of evil in America is the brilliance of our marketing combined with the stupidity of our people.

I think what's dangerous is the idea that someone can wash away your sins.

They are having a panel look into the intelligence failures in Iraq. It is a seven-person panel and it will include Senator John McCain, but the findings from this panel will not be issued until after the election. President Bush says the commission can go off and report back in a year, you know, the same way it works in the Texas National Guard.