It somehow became an article of faith on the right that Obama is the most extreme president in American history. Although, when they say that, I think what they really mean is...he's black.

Stand-up is great because I can get everything off my chest.

Let us not become so tolerant that we tolerate intolerance.

The only sport I really get into is snowboarding. Cause that's the only sport where they perform a half pipe just after smoking a full pipe.

Rick Santorum doesn't like sex. He doesn't like the pill. He really doesn't like condoms. He said if men are going to pull something on to prevent procreation, nothing works better that a sweater vest.

Denying racism is the new racism.

People have to stop saying that just because someone is an anti-gay activist they might be gay. They're DEFINITELY GAY!!