Because of the Republicans, I'm not ashamed of being an American. I'm embarrassed!

Death is nature's way of killing you.

I never thought I'd say this, what Obama needs in his personality is a little George Bush.

They told us to buy duct tape and portable radios so that if the world does end, we can all listen to Rush Limbaugh blame it on Clinton.

The public is gullible. ... If [many satirists are] making the same joke, that's the danger. Then there's a solidifying effect and it becomes a truth.

The politicians are no prizes, but the people are even worse, they're so ill-informed. I never understand the pushback when I say people are stupid.

People, especially the liberals, just live in this world where if anything is said that offends anybody even a little bit, not only does that person have to apologize; sometimes they have to go away forever. Go away, bad person. My analysis of this is that most of us don't do anything decent in our life. I'm not saying we're evil. I'm just saying we don't make a contribution, so the way they [liberals] think they're making a contribution is to point at the bad people [which] is somehow even more pathetic.