Scientists say an 8.9 earthquake here could knock down buildings, flood coastal areas... and improve the roads.

I don't want my president to be a TV star. You don't have to be on television every minute of every day - you're the president, not a rerun of 'Law & Order'. TV stars are too worried bout being popular and too concerned about being renewed.

Rush Limbaugh, who has made a career preaching that anybody who does drugs has got to go right to jail - do not pass go, no questions asked, right to jail - gets caught doing thirty oxycontin a day. Thirty oxycontin?! Do you have any idea how high that is?! I don't, and I've been pretty high!

Curious people are intersting people, I wonder why that is.

Ask your doctor if getting off your ass is right for you

President Obama invited John McCain to the White House to give his opinion on Egypt, specifically what it's like to be a mummy.

Why are the patriots the ones who don't want to spend money on trains?