Scientists say an 8.9 earthquake here could knock down buildings, flood coastal areas... and improve the roads.

No politician is perfect. But in every election in your life, there will be one choice that is better than the others. Go out and vote for that one.

The only way for mankind to survive is for religion to die.

It's been over a year since they've graduated, but neither of the Bush twins have found any work. Why don't they sign up (for military service in Iraq)? Do they hate America, or just freedom in general?

Be out of the mainstream. I'm out of the mainstream. I enjoy it, who wants to be in the mainstream?

Based on every statement I’ve heard out of any Republican in the last two years, the Israelis are controlling our government.

But I've often said that if I had – I have two dogs – if I had two retarded children, I'd be a hero. And yet the dogs, which are pretty much the same thing. What? They're sweet. They're loving. They're kind, but they don't mentally advance at all. Dogs are like retarded children.