I don't respect religon. I don't respect superstitious thinking and that is what religous is.

Americans are desperately, here on the West Coast, buying up and hoarding iodine pills... Isn't it great that in a land that is divided between conservative morons and liberal pussies, somehow we have managed to find a way to pull together and behave like moronic pussies?

New rule: Tulips aren't flowers. They're some kind of gay onion.

All I'm saying, as a fan, is I'm tired of the same song for 30 years. Can't we change the message a little? You've arrived. You have a black president. Every white guy in a commercial doesn't have to be the idiot and every black guy in a rap song doesn't have to be God's gift to the world.

Anyone who is elected mayor of a place called "Sin City" is allowed to be a drunk.

I think girls hate each other, no doesn't always mean no, you have to lie to stay married, women's sports are boring and the Olympics are gay.

Conservatives claim [Hillary] Clinton campaign involved in satanic 'spirit cooking'.