All I'm saying, as a fan, is I'm tired of the same song for 30 years. Can't we change the message a little? You've arrived. You have a black president. Every white guy in a commercial doesn't have to be the idiot and every black guy in a rap song doesn't have to be God's gift to the world.

I am so tired of rearranging my life around what the stupidest people might do.

Rick Santorum has come out against contraception and against college. He wants us literally to be f**king stupid.

Look, I have never made a secret of the fact that I have tried marijuana... About 50,000 times.

Suicide is man's way of telling God, 'You can't fire me - I quit.'

If you ignore every single thing Jesus told you to do, you are just auditing. You're not a Christian.

Naturally the smart thing to do to solve your economic woes is to demonize the Democrats. And of course, Sarah Palin is more than happy to oblige. She's been saying that Obama hangs out with terrorists. And you know, I think the evangelical lady who's in a video getting blessed by a witch doctor, who's married to a secessionist, and can't name a newspaper -- she's right, Obama is scary.