All I'm saying, as a fan, is I'm tired of the same song for 30 years. Can't we change the message a little? You've arrived. You have a black president. Every white guy in a commercial doesn't have to be the idiot and every black guy in a rap song doesn't have to be God's gift to the world.

To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.

I think flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative. I think religion is a neurological disorder.

If the NRA keeps messing with the President's daughters, they're going to have to start worrying about Michelle Obama's guns.

Attorney General John Ashcroft is in intensive care. He's suffering from a severe case of pancreatitis, which they can't really figure out because he's not really a drinker. They think he might have picked up some type of infection while wiping his ass with the Bill of Rights.

What mostly prevents black people from voting is that drug laws send them to prison, and then they can't vote.

Why are we working so hard to preserve Iraq, a fake country to begin with? Why do we care whether this fake country that was drawn on the map 100 years ago remains?