If it weren't for acid, you might not have an IPod, and you definitely would not have some of the best music in your IPod.

When we make mistakes they call it evil

I'm staying in a strange hotel. I called room service for a sandwich and they sent up two hookers.

The president boasted at the top of his press conference that we have the support now of Britain and Spain for our attack on Iraq. You know, when you want to make it perfectly clear to the world that you're not an imperialist, the people you want in your corner are Britain and Spain.

I know climate change is a hoax – of course – but places that have never seen this type of winter weather got hit by it. More than a half a million southerners have been left in the dark --- and then the storm hit.

Only cowards push a button from thousands of miles away, or tens of thousands of feet up, to kill people who can't possibly fight back.

If there is such a thing as karma, let's hope that Sarah Palin comes back as a wolf being shot at from a plane.